Playing devil's advocate with the voices in my head

It was very difficult to write this because I couldn't just think of things off the top of my head to put in this post. I had to really think about the things that go on in my head. when I would lay down and think about the last hour or so I had just passed, I would think of the things the voices in my head said and I would argue about them.

First of all, I would like to point out that the voices in your head are NOT always right! There is one little voice that serves a purpose of lowering my self-esteem. I'm sure I am not the only one with this voice. You ever wonder why it takes girls so long to get ready? Its because of this voice telling them they are not good enough. Always comparing themselves and even if they are a confident person, deep down there is still that one voice telling them "No, don't go out like that" or "Really? Your going to wear that?" According to my friend, those are what her voices say to her specifically.
DON'T GIVE IN TO THIS VOICE! Like, what is this shit? If any of the other voices in my head could just put a muzzle on this guy, that would be great! THANKS!

I once had a friend that had a bad habit of playing devils advocate, not so much with the voices in his head, but rather with other people. If someone voiced an opinion he would have a tendency to formulate all the ways in which that person may be wrong or ways in which he could counter attack that opinion. He would do this regardless of whose opinion he actually agreed with. It was sort of like "Socratic Questioning" and if you don't know what that is, its questioning that leads people to contradict themselves. He was more concerned with people using sound logic rather than actual opinions themselves. If people seemed to be very sure of something, then he would feel the need to test their logic. This can be very cynical and negative. These voices in his head had such control over him that he had very few real opinions himself. He would tend to destroy opinions into deconstructive absurdity. Don't let these voices have such an impact on you, that you are looked down upon by society.

It may not seem like it, but yes the voices in your head are there to help you make your decisions. The following are things that I do or think about rather often and I think a lot of you may be able to relate. Soooo...here it goes...

What happens when you lose your keys? Your voices beat you up.

You get a speeding ticket? Beat yourself up.

Stub your toe? Beat yourself up.

Person looks at you funny? Beat THEM up! just kidding.

-I need to go to bed, seriously I have to get up early.

 Ugh I want caffeine, I should really do something about my caffeine addiction, I really want some though, OOoooh and Tacos...


-Get off facebook and type your paper!
 Yah I will just let word processor load for a bit..
 Oh shes dating a new guy now? Well good for her!
 Facebook chat? I think YES!
 NO! Paper due tomorrow! Must. type. paper!
 What am I doing my paper over? Lets ask someone
 ORRR OR OOORRR... I will check my news feed
 whore. whore. asshole. bitch. complains to much. OH GOD WHAT IS THAT?
 yeh I think I will just write my paper in the morning...

Do fish get cramps after they eat?

Superman, why do you duck when someone throws something at you? You can stop a bullet with your chest.

Golfing would be sooo much cooler if air cannons replaced drivers, air pistols for putting, Black Eyed Peas were the holes and the balls exploded.

Im hungry
Am I really hungry?
No, I think I am just bored
No but food sounds so good
Who wants paaancaaaakkeesss?

There you have it, some of the voices in my head, what do yours tell you?